Has Listening Become a Dying Art?
We’ve all heard the phrase “walk a mile in my shoes”. This phrase encourages empathy and understanding in others, and while it gives a physical direction to walk, active listening is the gateway to truly gain the knowledge and understanding of a person's (or your own) situation, empathy.
When a person hears the words ‘health and wellness coach’ they often immediately picture prescribed meal plans, workouts, or meditation guides. Create You Wellness offers a different approach, a collaborative thinking partnership that all boils down to listening to what matters to you - identifying meaningful opportunities, creating a tailored approach, to move toward a life that is authentically you.
Listening impacts our judgements, assumptions, perspectives, social connections, and directly impacts our health. There are a magnitude of opportunities to listen - to yourself and others - however, with increasing distractions in our modern world.
Has listening become a dying art?
There is a big difference between hearing and listening when it comes to emotional communication. Hearing and communication in the animal kingdom contributes to survival - finding food and protection - through the exchange of vibrations and receiving those signals. Listening is one of the characteristics that has allowed humans to become affectionately complex. Now, in addition to your basic human needs, listening directly impacts humanity's emotional needs as well.
Modern communication provides inexhaustible and instant opportunities to communicate verbally, written, or visually, but are we really listening to one another? In 2023 the Surgeon General went on a cross-country listening tour only to discover an epidemic of loneliness and isolation and how the lack of social connection is increasing mortality rates.
Can you think of the last time you felt listened to?
Overtime hearing, listening, and empathy have evolved. Fostering a culture that values kindness, respect, service, and commitment to one another would help to increase the communal feeling of acceptance. The way to achieve this is through listening.
The expansive ability to decode the symbols in our environment has contributed to the evolution of listening. As highlighted by Alison Brooks, an anthropology professor at George Washington University in reflecting on passersby near her office which is located near a bank. She says “you can tell in a second which ones are the students and which are the bankers. Because the students dress like students and the world bankers dress like bankers. The [bankers] all wear suits or very formal clothing. Each of those different populations gets up in the morning and puts on symbols of their status."
This type of symbolic status and understanding can be dated back over 82,500 years ago to shells which were used as beads for jewelry to indicate status and beliefs. This type of symbolic projection took on another evolution in 1908 when the word empathy was originally coined. However, at that time it was not about understanding another person, but rather projecting one’s own imagined feelings and movements into objects. Allowing viewers to exchange feelings that were evoked by abstract lines in a painting for example, projecting their own inner sense of movement. Empathy was seen as key to the pleasures of art.
It is fascinating that the original connotation for the word empathy involved art which many tie to emotional expression - having the ability to evoke feelings and connection in the space where words can fall short. From this evolution and the fundamental principles of orchestral music we can learn so much about the intricacies that can be found in active listening. It may seem quite obvious that musicians practice listening to themselves and others but there are many facets that can help you tune into your empathetic listening skills.
How do you feel when you are heard?
Practicing how to be present to the given moment is a fundamental first step. The technicalities of someone's instrument creates a great deal of focus on the here and now. They aren’t thinking about what they will be having for lunch or if a text message came through because this could derail the entire piece.
A composer considers the timbre and range of an instrument when selecting a melodic line to be highlighted in a symphonic work to evoke particular emotions. Each instrument plays a vital role, large and small must be considered. Just as all humans do and listen to each other without judgment.
When a thematic phrase is important and conveys the meaning of the piece, a composer will often reflect this and repeat it for emphasis in many instruments. Reflecting someone's concern or affirming their feelings contributes to their ability to be seen and highlights their value.
The idea that empathy is key to experiencing art and art is key to conveying our emotions highlights the concept that in order to discover what works best for you to live your life well, you have to get creative. As the Surgeon General discovered, spending 2 hours or more on social media daily has a direct impact on someone's overall health. Sifting through all of the information that we are bombarded with on what it looks like to be accepted and the extreme measure you should go through to get there is overwhelming to tackle on your own.
The blasting noise of ‘shoulds’ is deafening.
Composing the unique vision of what wellness would include based on your personal goals and hopes are greatly inspired by listening to your inner self. The historical art forms and evolutionary information above are great examples as to how these findings can act as a guide. Similarly, your own historical knowledge of success and growth provides vital information to help you move towards meaningful change.
Listening to your thoughts, hopes, and dreams to support you. Backed by science, created with you, Create You Wellness holds space for and bares witness to your journey.
Take some time to consider what pieces of the concept of listening piques your interest.
think of a time that you were a good listener, what does it feel like?
think of a time you felt heard, what does it feel like to be listened to?
if you were in the company of someone who was listening to you, what would be your most meaningful thing to share today?
Works Cited
Clark, Joseph, director. These animals can hear everything. 2022. TEDX, https://ed.ted.com/lessons/what-has-no-ears-but-can-still-hear-jakob-christensen-dalsgaard.
Lanzoni, Susan. “The Surprising History of Empathy.” Psychology Today, 30 November 2019, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/empathy-emotion-and-experience/201911/the-surprising-history-empathy. Accessed 7 April 2025.
“Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” HHS.gov, https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf. Accessed 7 April 2025.
Spiegel, Alix. “When Did We Become Mentally Modern?” NPR, 2010, https://www.npr.org/2010/08/09/129082962/when-did-we-become-mentally-modern. Accessed 07 04 2025.